quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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