All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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