I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize