Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
