I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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