her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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