He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
