with your own penis?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
