After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
