are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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