There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
