I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize