I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
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Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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