Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Bring me that man meat
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
