I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Welp...herpes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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