Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
