I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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