i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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