i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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