No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
