Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
