i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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