also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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