Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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