I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
