they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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