Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
