every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I fill condoms, not promises.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
