After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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