I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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