No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
