i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
