ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize