I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
