I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
