we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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