yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
