If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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