I'm gonna have a badass scar
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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