Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
