I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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