I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
