Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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