That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
