you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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