i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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