Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize