Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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