my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm passing your future prison.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize