Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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