My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
