When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize