It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
