I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
