just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
