i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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