I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize