i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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