UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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